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I just needed an excuse.

Rather than wait for the entire video to be completed for you to see what's been done, I decided to make a big compilation of all the stick movies I've ever made in my entire life and post it: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/450067 

Should you choose to watch it Mr. Matt, you will find your entire scene in one piece in the middle of the presentation. It's rather hard to miss.


I had a dream last night.

I don't remember what it was about or what happened. I just know a beautiful redheaded young lady was in it. I would have woken up feeling great, had my mother not been kicking me. Literally. 

'Riding four wheelers with you was fun...'

It won't be the last time. I promise.

Jul. 20th, 2008

Mr. Invader Zim fan, your scene is complete.

The perfect girl.

I want to meet an unbelievably hot, female version of me.

carefree, priorities all wrong, generally content, very smart and very lazy with a sense of humor that isn't really... FUNNY, but if it were the same as mine I'm sure I'd laugh. Or maybe I'd just realize how lame I am. I doubt I have such powers of objectivity.

Powers of Recall

Loneliness is not a feeling that I can remember. There is not a time in my life that I can remember what it felt like to be lonely. I do know that I have been lonely, but the specific feeling I cannot ever successfully recall. Only while lonely can I know what it feels like. Otherwise it fades away. Like being sick. I don't know what it feels like to be sick until I'm sick... and then I forget. Other people are probably more capable of remembering loneliness. Maybe that's why they fear it so much. Being alone can be unfortunate but I'd imagine the fear of being alone would be horrible. Allowing the fear of being alone to cause you to be alone must be even worse. 

But when you're lonely, you wouldn't mind having somebody to fear being alone without around. 

Summer puts all your relationships in stasis; I wish I hadn't left them all in shambles. I should have called her, even though I was tired. 

I hate women, I hate all of you. I was unhappy without you, unsatisfied with you, and then horribly miserable when forced from you. 

Mother. I hate you. You are a fucking bitch. The idea that you have to love your mother because she's family is dumb. Some people just need to go fuck themselves, relatives or not.

Toshia. I hate you. Why did you come to the health center the day I had to leave? You weren't even going to come... Why did you have to tell me you loved me? You prey on my mind daily. The fact that you went from loving me and needing to stay connected to me somehow to hating me and never wanting to talk again has torn me to shreds inside. I can't stop thinking about what I could have possibly done wrong to lose my best friend. Why couldn't you be my best pal forever?

Julia. I wish I could get past my overwhelming love for you enough to hate you. You are the biggest cause for all my feelings of loneliness, and though they are impossible to recall, I know them to be terrible and frequent. I yearn for the day that nothing can stand between us, because obstacles frustrate and cripple me... I know that time is my ally but also my enemy. Every moment spent away from you brings me closer to you, but feels wasted. It's selfish but I want to be with you now. Immediately. In the present. Until then, you will always be on my mind and I will learn to hate you for making me feel this way.

Mary. I hate you. You are a possessive, insane, petty freak. I would wish upon you great emotional pain in your future if I didn't know you would bring it upon yourself. You will never be satisfied with anybody, you don't even like yourself. If I were you, I would hate myself too. Look at what a bitch you've become.

Danielle. I hate you. You are unattractive to the point of being repulsive. I hate everything about your presence. Your laugh disgusts me, your hair disgusts me, your body disgusts me, your obsessive need for me disgusts me. Your need for my attention exceeds Mary's, and that alone is enough to make me hate you.

Sigrid Wilson. I wish that you stirred enough attraction in me at some point in time for me to grow to resent it and now hate you. Unfortunately you've only ever been a good friend to me and try as I might, I cannot find enough rage in myself to even dislike you. Despite your obvious critical flaw (being female),  you are an ever-auspicious presence. Perhaps my subconscious has always detected that you would never do me harm, and repaid you by never trying to get me to have sex with you. I would like it very much if, some day, Futon Incident 2.0 could rock my next girlfriend's confidence in her relationship. You are awesome. For a girl.

Were I to be teleported to a room with any one of you, I would be filled with joy. I am not an angry man... I've always been a sucker for you women folk. When you're around you make me happy. I only want to be with you. around you. building staircases with you. I just miss you.

Except mom. fuck her. 

damn it's late. sun's coming up. night.

3:30 in the morning. Not a soul in sight.

 nobody even reads this.

Jul. 16th, 2008

 717 565 9990... who are you?

it turns out that no two countries containing a McDonald's have gone to war with each other, with the exception of the 2006 Lebanon War. That is awesome.

(There has been FIGHTING between other countries, but no actual declarations of war... for example the United States hasn't officially declared war on any country since World War II, except when it retroactively declared war on Korea 50 years after the Korean war began.)

or was it?

Man... multiplayer games are going to be the death of me. Life was better when my ability to have fun wasn't contingent on other people getting online.

One month later, almost exactly.

"she says she hates you. that she never wants to see you again, regrets ever meeting you, and that you're the lowest form of scum she's ever encountered.

I didn't realize she felt so strongly. I wish I didn't miss her so much. Toshia... what did I do to make you feel this way. You were going to visit me once a month... and then I got a job and went from meaning everything... to meaning nothing.

Less than nothing. I would say your feelings have descended into the negatives. Slightly.

Never should have visited me in the health center. All would have been different then.



mom got my report card today.

she taped it to the front of my computer screen, and she wrote, in all caps, in pen, across the front of it: IS THIS WHAT YOU SEE FOR YOURSELF?

I... laughed my ass off.

AND drove her to the airport today. home alone for a good while, sucka.

oh, it was ABBBCC